Quantum Love

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Aretha Franklin, a hillbilly and a raccoon walked into a bar and ordered drinks all around. She gave the bar tender a hundred dollar bill and said keep the change, the bar tender put the forty dollar tip in his pocket. The raccoon sipped his two ounces of Southern Comfort then let out a loud yowl, jumped up on the bar and tipped every one's half finished drinks over. The bar tender cleaned up the mess, Aretha ordered drinks all around, and the same thing happened three more times. The bar tender came over and said to Aretha, lady I'm not about to complain because I'm making a lot of money in tips, but I am curious, whats going on?
     It's like this, I was driving through here a few hours ago and was so impressed by the beauty of the woods I just had to take a walk. I soon became lost after about three hours, and not knowing which direction I needed to go to get back to my car I asked God for help. I told him if he would send some one to rescue me I would marry that person and take care of them for the rest of my life. Right after I opened my eyes, a quantum moment blurred my vision. There stood this hillbilly and raccoon staring at me, it was as though past, present and future had seamlessly blended together. I was so shocked by God's sudden gift I blurted out that I was lost and had just promised God I would marry whoever rescued me. He said, let's go to the bar and celebrate the wedding. On the way he said folks called him Sleeper and that he called his raccoon Mischief, and that I would find out why in about one hour. Well as you can see they are both passed out, I am going to my car and plan to put two hundred miles between myself and Sleeper, here's another hundred dollars for your trouble, be sure to tell Sleeper I will always think of him should I ever begin to think of matrimony again.

About the Author: 
Jerry Clark lives in a small town in the western US. He collects his writing material from a mixed bag of friends, both real and imagined. He is a work in progress, a collector of rare truth, lover of all things past, searching for house of Elrond.