Boson, Higgs

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“I’m going to die cold, alone and childless” Green the quark said.

“Don’t be such a downer, sis!” Blue replied.

“Yeah! Try to look on the upside, you won’t have to deal with those clingy types. Remember Gravity?” Red chimed in.

Her sisters certainly had a point. You know what they say, there isn’t another strong interaction like family. But Green still couldn’t quite shake the feeling that she was simply destined to be alone for the rest of her life. After a string of relationships that ended less than amicably, she decided to resign herself to becoming a spinster. After all, spending a Saturday night with your sisters in a dead beat club in the city was probably indicative of that.

Maybe she would get a pet. Perhaps a string, she thought to herself. Not a lot of people took care of them nowadays, it just didn’t make sense. But they were still cute. She had even just watched a viral video of a few of them vibrating. She chuckled to herself thinking about them.

Damned strings.

Green was thinking about what kind of chew toy she would get her string when the atmosphere of the bar was interrupted by the arrival of a dark and mysterious man. He pushed open the saloon doors and walked with thick black leather boots towards the bar. His heavy footsteps attracted the ire of fellow patrons, but Green was enamoured. Never before had she seen a man like him before. Cool, collected, sure of himself. She wasn’t even sure if he was really there. But what she was sure of was her attraction for him. It was… fundamental.

Her sisters had clearly seen Green’s reaction to this mysterious stranger, and chose to take action. They were egging her on to go have a chat with him and perhaps excite him for the night. Green was reluctant. Admittedly she had been searching for somebody like him for a very long time, but what did she really have to go on besides a cursory glance his way? Green considered herself an empirical kind of girl, and she refused to give in to her sisters.

“Well, you won’t know if you don’t try!” Red proffered.

She did have a point. After a few minutes of her sisters chiding her for lacking initiative, Green had caved. She had decided to approach the stranger. It had been a long time, and she was nervous about her prospects with the man. She stood up and walked over to the bar.

“Green, wait! Lose the spectacles and a couple of buttons! A W Boson or two!” Blue suggested.

“What, are you serious? That’s weak!” Green muttered under her breath.

Nevertheless, she followed their suggestions and tapped on the man’s shoulder.

“Well, howdy there mister! What’s yer name?”

Great. That couldn’t have possibly sounded stranger. The man turned around and faced her, with his arm still resting on the bar top. He was looking her up and down, so Green thought she would take the time to do the same. He had these icy blue eyes and locks of beautiful blonde hair. And those shoulders!
“My name is Higgs. Higgs Boson.” he replied with an accent that Green thought sounded Germanic.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” she asked.

“Da! I come from Geneva.”

Oh! A Swiss! Could he possibly get any dreamier? Green was determined now. Whatever it took, she would make him fall head over heels for her. And she knew just the thing.

“I would think you’re the kind of guy who likes to get excited?”

He nodded.

She whipped out the keys for her sister’s motorcycle and jingled them in front of him, suggesting they continue the evening at his apartment. He smiled and beckoned her to lead the way. She waved goodbye to her sisters and smiled as she left the bar.


“Oh God!” Green exclaimed.

“Yes, I do get that a lot.” Higgs replied.

“Can I touch it?”

He nodded and Green stuck out her hand and touched the field in front of her. In all her years, she had never quite seen anything like that. She was absolutely fascinated by how it seemed to fill the apartment. It was damn near unbelievable.

She turned to look at Higgs who appeared rather bemused by her child-like reverence. She stood up and turned to face him. She had never quite been this bashful, but then again she had never met a man quite like Higgs. She must have been blushing because she could feel the warmth in her cheeks. Oh dear, her family could really do without another Red.

“Higgs… you make me feel…” she struggled to find the right word.

“Mass?” he proffered.

She smiled and nodded. They had been in a locked gaze before Green heard an unmistakeable sound. She froze as the sound grew closer, and she felt something brush against her leg.

“Higgs, you wouldn’t happen to have any pets around would you?”

“Sorry? Oh you mean little Schrödinger!” He bent down to pet his cat, who had been staring at her. Her fear for cats could be surmised in one word. Supermassive.

She absolutely detested being around cats, it was inexplicable. Perhaps it had to do with how they were neither here nor there, always looking at something but not looking at the same time. She shuddered thinking about it. But she couldn’t quite tell him that, could she? So, she feigned having an allergy to the pesky little demons and made haste. Before she left, Higgs made an appointment to see her again and they bade each other a charged farewell.

That morning when she arrived back home, Green lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling. That night was arguably the best of her life. Theoretically, she had needed somebody like him and now… Now she felt complete. This was the start of something new.

Higgs Boson had definitely changed her world.