Love at first tangle

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Adam was a lonely proton. This made him sad, agitated, and despondent. The reason for this state of affairs is complex, and will now be explained. This is his story.
Towards the end of the first second after the Big Bang that created the universe, the annihilation of matter and antimatter commenced. There was an asymmetry in the amounts of each – only by one part in a billion – yet this was sufficient to have left-over normal matter (Some thing to do with Charge Parity Violation during Inflation, or some other nonsense).
The zillions and zillions of protons left over, when counted, added up to an odd number. This last odd proton was Adam.
He was 13.7 billion years old, just a nipper really, since the half life of a proton is around 〖10〗^34 years. He could live this lifetime many times over. Then again, he could evaporate into two or more gamma rays next Tuesday week at 5 o’clock. But this was not very likely.
He was located in the centre of a void – not just any void – he was in the Canes Venatici Great Supervoid. It was 65 million light years to the nearest galaxy supercluster wall. A void so big it makes a significant cold spot in the CBR (Cosmic Background Radiation) map.
Many of his proton mates had joined into harmonious relationships with neutrons to form the nuclei of helium and lithium, and they were content. He had a quite a few relationships with electrons, some lasting 100 million years, but it never lasted. Some photon would come shooting along, hit his electron, and it would take off. He called this his hydrogen phase, and it did reduce his anxiety, but there was always something missing.
He looked around for other sources of companionship but there were not a lot round. Virtual particles would pop into existence out of the vacuum. Things such as positrons and electron pairs would appear, then destroy each other in〖 10〗^(-22) seconds. That is no time to form a meaningful relationship. Proton-antiproton – his own kind – annihilate each other even quicker in 〖10〗^(-26) seconds.
Dark matter drifted by, and there was a lot of it about. It pulled Adam here and there with its gravitational attraction. It existed in the region, but it didn’t want to interact with Adam in any other shape, way, or form. Dark matter is really antisocial when it comes to fermions. Neutrinos by comparison are overtly gregarious!
He was lonely, isolated and anxious. Given the situation, he had plenty of time to undergo omphaloskepsis (don’t be lazy look it up). He examined his internal structure. He contained 3 quarks: 2 up and 1 down, and all different colours. Gluons and a lot of other stuff, like virtual particles, reflected the particles and fields that convey the strong force holding him together. All of these shenanigans held his interest for a while, but became boring as time went by. He looked for other things to do.
One of these was flipping backwards and forwards from his wave function to particle state, but this too became tiresome after a while. Been there done that.
Well, enough of that scene setting and inward looking stuff. Lets look at the something that lifted Adam’s spirits out of the doldrums, and made him a happy, even exhilarated, proton with a vision.
Forty six billion light years away from Adam, across half of the observable universe, next to a super massive black hole in the centre of a spiral galaxy, something was about to happen!
Close to the event horizon of the black hole a vacuum fluctuation produced a proton-antiproton pair of virtual particles. The antiproton had the misfortune of falling into the black hole, as it was closer. Quantum mechanics being what it is (who knows what’s going to happen) the proton is “boosted” into becoming a real matter particle by the intense gravitational field. This special proton is a product of Hawking Radiation.
This newly created particle feels a great sense of freedom, and decides that this requires immediate action to establish an identity: “I shall be called Eve”, she loudly proclaims to an audience of absolutely nobody. She was in the zone!
Just at this moment in cosmic time, she senses the lonely fellow proton in another part of the universe far, far away. Adam feels a sensation of excitement and heightened awareness.
Corresponding via the 11th dimension’s hyperspace, they immediately become “entangled”: his spin is up hers is down. This is love at first tangle.
The 11th dimension doesn’t recognise the existence of a speed limit like the speed of light. This dimension dips its membrane into lots of parallel universes, universes with different physical laws and different values for fundamental constants. One parallel universe, the one being used by Adam and Eve, allows infinite speed for instant communication through hyperspace.
Adam has found his soul mate, Eve has found hers. This is true love. All is right within the universe. Bliss reigns.
Adam decides to travel to Eve’s location so that they can cohabit a helium nucleus. He knows it’s a very long way and, because space is expanding as well, it will make the trip even longer. But what the heck, with a half-life like his and hers, they have plenty of time and now his life has purpose.
Adam thinks maybe this could be the start of something really big. Perhaps with his uniqueness, her recent creation, quantum fluctuations and a positive contribution from the vacuum, they could start a family of fundamental particles of their own. Who knows where this could lead even to a Big Bang!

About the Author: 
Phillip is a retired science head teacher from Sawtell in NSW Australia. He has a pass degree in physics from the University of Sydney. He has also been a casual academic at Southern Cross Uni in Coffs Harbour. He has an MSc in science education. He loves astronomy.